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Not Cement


Well you might say that this category of "things that are not cement" should really include a huge variety of things, in fact almost everything, apart from cement of course. However, this is a special category, and it contains things which are not merely Not Cement, but whose absence of being cement are notable. Ie, things which exhibit a level of "not being cement" which is remarkable.

For example, you could look at something and think that perhaps it might be cement in some way or other, but then you suddenly realise as it dawns on you... It's actually not cement!

For example...

Blue Square Casino - The idea that it might be something to do with cement is to do with the name. It's a business whose name has "blue" in it, and a geometric shape as well, and then somehow it flags up as "cement", but no, this is an incorrect pattern recognition. Blue Square is a gambling business, whereas it is Blue Circle which is cement!

Portland Holidays - It's a holiday company, and Portland is a place, and the name conjures up images of seaside places and nice weather. The company is very fussy about the name, and yet the name "Portland" is also seen on something else, something which is not holidays. It is: Portland Cement. Portland cement is especially rock-hard although nothing like as tasty as the stuff you might buy on the seaside promenade with the name of the locality written all the way through it. Portland cement is named after the place because the geology of that location is especially good for making quality cement. Also worth mentioning: Whereas many products in the modern era use extravagantly boastful adjectives, bags of Portland cement tend to say on them "Ordinary Portland Cement", which presumably helps people to distinguish it from the magic stardust bearing variety.

Microsoft - It was observed a while ago by the people who do the same sort of musings as what if operating systems ran the airlines, that Microsoft operating systems have two letters to distinguish them, and these might spell something. One of the Microsoft operating systems, for mobile phones, is known as WINCE, which is Windows CE. Another, named after the Millennium not after a disease, is Windows ME, and another is the server version which Samba Servers in Linux are usually quite good at simulating, is Windows NT. Hence, CE-ME-NT, or "CEMENT". This highly contrived piece of observation alone would put Microsoft in the "not cement" classification, but also it has to be said that it has got SOFT in it, and in contrast, cement is known for being hard. Also see the Microsoft Store, which has an affiliate program.

I had wondered about including Helium in this category, of things that are remarkably Not Cement. It's not merely that helium is light whereas cement is heavy, and helium is a gas which is very light, and so it tends to be used in balloons which fly up in the air, but also the atoms of helium don't stick together. This adds an additional non-cementlike quality to helium, because a fundamental property of cement is that it sticks things together (for example, bricks), whereas helium is diametrically opposed to cement on that aspect too, as not even the atoms stick together. Helium forms no compounds, and the atoms exist in isolation, in a *monatomic gas.

Of course if you were looking at this page for some cement, as you may have guessed, it's not the place to look. Cement can be found, however, at the page of Builders Supplies, and at DIY and Home Improvement


Another pedantic thing about cement is the matter of concrete mixers. A concrete mixer is a truck that travels along with a huge barrel rotating to mix the sand and cement together to make concrete. Quite clever really, mixing while travelling along. However they are often referred to as "cement mixers". This is incorrect, as they are concrete mixers. See, I said it was pedantic. Bonus picky detail: Most concrete mixers rotate clockwise, the locus of a point on the circumference forming a right-handed helix as the vehicle moves forward.

* Yes, a monatomic gas. Not a monotonic gas! Spellcheckers can make mistakes. A Monatomic gas is a fluid with atoms that have a Valency of zero.